Cherished Void

Dystopia

2009-05-21T23:23:00.003+03:00

Black and White do not exist

Life in a world of newspaper grey,

Ashen men, greying women and fading children

Numbers tattooed to their foreheads

As shadowed cities grow like mold

Peace does not exist

Driven by our mortal passions

As grown men push and shove

Destroy and Eradicate

Life is a child's game

Tug of War

Satisfaction does not exist

Greedy minds are never content

The island has enough for all

But violent with desire they will fight

Just to have a little more

And they'll watch as their brothers starve

Utopia does not exist

A flagpole pierces into the heart

of a child at the top of a pile of bodies

A red-stained flag trembles restlessly in the wind

As a bloodthirsty man is crowned king

Annihilation

2009-05-21T23:21:00.001+03:00

Anthills smothered by concrete and steel
An ocean of granite grey drowns
all of what might’ve been green
A field of wheat colored buildings
Is all that grows here
Deathly pale beaches echo
with the sound of what was
Creatures that once thrived
Have been replaced with empty shells
And abandoned waste
Black storm clouds gather over
The forsaken city
The earth thirsts for just a drop of rain
but it will only get a grimy drizzle
There is no sign of god here
A newborn’s first breath
Is of dust and sewage
Still you find specks of green hope
Peeking out through broken concrete slabs

Prying Eyes

2009-05-21T23:18:00.003+03:00

Privacy, our world has captured you
Stripped you down and exposed you
And proceeded to rape you repeatedly
They have poked, prodded and pushed
Until you perished leaving us helpless

They have peered in and out of windows
Those Peeping Tom’s of our world
Peeking into our keyhole’s
Into hallways dark with the shadows
Of secrets and sins; Pretending to care

Telling a palette of stories over and over
Whispering constantly
“About the rich girl who has no father
With the fat neighbor who overdosed
On crack, who was seen talking to the whore
In my class, with the Indian man who committed
Suicide, because an abusive father gambled all their
Money away, and she cheats on him while
He’s gone, Four Arab men violated her; she was found
Weeks later, his only son died they say its
His fault, It was all over the news
Didn’t you hear? Isn’t it tragic?”

Regardless of the pleading
They still spy our private moments
Peruse our dirty laundry
Never asking for permission
Pathetic, petty, perverts

The "State" of Kuwait

2009-05-21T23:13:00.000+03:00

Hypocrisy and Corruption live here
Pride, Patriotism, Hope you have left me
Parliament deaf to our pleas for years
A myriad of youth carry on blindly

Obsessed with their iPods obsessed with their
Ray Bans obsessed with their Marc Jacobs shoes
To be myself in Kuwait I would not dare
I'm forced to live a life I did not choose

I walk cautiously through these daunting streets
Another piece of flesh in predators eyes
Miserably secure so when freedom speaks
My heart trusts but my mind grudgingly denies

Friends, Family, and Strangers I will deceive
For this country I can't fix, change, or leave

13 Haikus: Park Bench

2009-05-21T23:11:00.000+03:00

Once a mighty tree
Rooted in the woods of green,
Now a cedar bench.

A park bench for years
So many stories to tell.
But it has no voice.

A wanderer seeks
Shelter and warmth on its wood;
On long frosty nights.

Strangers shared the space
But kept distance between them.
Still awkward silence.

Lovers holding hands
As flowers bloomed around them.
Fulfilled by Silence.

Ants gathered around
Sweet ice-cream stains left behind;
A child's summer treat.

Loud teens sat afterschool;
Left behind cigarette butts and
Circular burns in wood.

Hungry cat sits on cedar,
Watching birds fly south in grey
Waits for dinner to land.

Schoolgirl carved his name.
Childish crush marked in dark wood
Pen marks fade with time.

A jogger stops to rest.
Drops of sweat disappear in the wood
On a leaf-covered bench.

Moist and moldy wood,
After long april showers.
The sweet smell of rot.

Termites made their home
In soft safe summer cedar.
Wearing and tearing.

The wood broke apart.
The only bench in the park
Nowhere to sit now.

Identity

2009-05-21T23:06:00.003+03:00

I sit between my past and my present
My present I please and my past I torment
New waves crash and destroy sandcastles I built
For leaving Past behind I’ve swallowed cupfuls of guilt

I am secured in Present’s arms
My past holds a guitar and mourns
The death of the me, that belonged to him
The us that we could’ve been; hear his song begin

“Suddenly,

I'm not half the man I used to be,

There's a shadow hanging over me,

Now I long for yesterday.”

And tears from guitar strings will drip
As blood pours from rigid fingers that grip
As his painful words escape from his unwilling lips
In puddles of confusion I drown because I must‘ve slipped

Present smiles and his eyes smile at me too
Completely oblivious to my crisis; if he only knew
I’m a different person with Present; no longer the same
How can two different people share my body and my name?

I call to Future and fall to my knees, beg, and cry
“Who is the real me? What should I choose and why?”
His identity, the answer he hides behind a phantom’s mask
“Please, I am torn”; And this was his answer to the questions I ask

“If I hold a mirror up
For you to know what will be,
Like Medusa’s reflection,
it will be the last sight you’ll ever see”

I sit between worn out Past, and newly wrapped Present
Feeling Present’s reassuring kisses and hearing Past’s lament
We’ll lay here and watch grey clouds heavy with change glide by
After the storm we’ll see what new me will be left staring at the sky

Acid Reigns

2009-05-21T23:01:00.000+03:00

For barren land, feel no pity
Alone and astray in grim streets
Passing ashen strangers that reek
Of scorn and spite, for I’m just a freak
With their Hypocrite smiles that speak
Of hopelessness, making me weak
Loathing dull city walls that leak
Indifference towards the mute meek
Despair my only friend will shriek
As I search on tired bare feet
Enlightenment is what I seek
Lost in a Sea of Dust

Acid reigns over my city
As it flows from my finger tips
Acid lingers on smiling lips
Begins to take me on a trip
Through holes in time that I will rip
From orange juice pools I will sip
My city, TV screens that flip
As it pulls me past Noah's ship
On stained glass ceilings acid drips
Monet puddles in which I slip
Kaleidoscope eyed girl will strip
Laugh in a Sky of Dreams

Secret Sanctuary

2009-03-22T00:09:00.003+03:00

We sat silently on your sinfully stained sheets absorbing spellbinding sound waves

The scent of sweat surrounds us, cigarette smoke swirling forming circles in our air

Secret seconds, minutes, moments of stolen away freedoms must suffice and satisfy

Safe from city sights and stares; Safe from society's slaves and condescending voices

Sheltered from cold streets and distressing desert sand; Sheltered from stinging sunlight

Outside hypocrites direct masses of traffic; Outside we're all lost and confused

Forced into perplexing gender roles; stifling smiles, self and emotions

Soft spoken females must succumb, surrender, and yeild

Males must dominate, overshadow, subject and harass

Soon we must face outside; Soon we must separate segregate and submit

Soon all personality is erased, no questions asked; Soon all doors and minds are closed

Sweet cherished sanctuary must we leave your sustaining walls?

Psycho Analyse

2007-10-08T17:18:00.001+03:00

Lets get comfortable
Tell me.. how does that make you feel?
This isn't an illusion
You and me are real

Lets get serious
I can be your prozac
Taste me, Take me in
Dont go back

I'll ask the questions
Leave that to me
Put your hand in mine
Let me be your therapy
You'll find the answers
You just need a dose of me
Tell me all your secrets
I'll be your therapy

Lets get personal
Dont trust the voices in your head
You'll never find your way
Trust in me instead

Lets get physical
I'll be your hypnosis tonight
You'll feel better soon baby
Try not to fight

x = pain

2007-07-03T23:07:00.000+03:00

the numbers have a purpose

counting
the days
the hours
the minutes
the seconds

counting
the spaces in
between two bodies
indecently committed
for a moment

counting
the secrets
the guilt
the regrets
the lies

counting
the hurt
found in the
molecules
of tears

counting
the seconds
the minutes
the hours
the days
apart

counting till pain is a number

Used

2007-06-26T18:02:00.000+03:00

You left me hanging
But I played a part
In your sick game
That broke my heart

We both made the noose
That I let you put over my head
I helped you pick out the strongest branch
And I believed everything you said

You left me hanging
Even when you could see
All the things that I would do
And how much you really meant to me

Now I am running out of air
You put me here and I cry
And I don't know whether to live and wait for you
Or whether to just give up and die

You left me hanging
And you didn’t say
If you were ever coming back
And now I just pray

So I'll just hang from this tree of false hope
I don’t care; whatever
I know you'll come back to me
And I'll wait here forever

Dirty Reflection

2007-06-26T18:00:00.000+03:00

At 2 a.m. she stood
In front of a mirror
Half naked in just her underwear
Pushing dirty black hair
Out of her eyes
With those sad eyes she stared
At her own reflection
Giving herself what almost
Seemed to be a look of hatred
She picked up the dark pink lipstick
Covering the redness of her lips
With the bleak shade
She wasn’t going anywhere
She wasn’t meeting anyone
She just wanted to disguise the lips
From which lies emerge
Not wanting them to be her own
She moved in close to the mirror
A whisper away from
Kissing her own reflection
Incomprehensible words escaped
From the dark pink lips
Then she pressed them against the mirror
Leaving a triangle of color on the glass
She admired it for a moment
Then her face was only misery
She went over to the light switch
And in a second she was engulfed by darkness
Along with the room
And in the dark her guilt was hidden
From the rest of the world

Tunnel

2007-06-26T17:56:00.000+03:00

These unfamiliar blank walls
That I have been walking by
Are illuminated by a far moon
That can just barely be seen

The sounds I hear are muffled
And distant
Separated from the reality
Of my journey down this path

As I walk I pass
Hundreds of others walking
Down their separate roads
Searching for their light

You are blurred
You are out of focus
I have failed to inject
Life into you
And your twinkling light
I can no longer see by my side

Rebel

2007-06-26T17:53:00.000+03:00

Their minds were shut and locked up tight,
Like iron prison doors against our luminous way of thinking.
They we're blinded, after dwelling in the darkness for so long.
Who are they to dictate what we should believe in?
Filling the empty pages of our pure minds and souls
With ignorant ideas
Written in the blood of the ones who had rebelled against them.
We must create a fortress of our own,
One that blocks their painful sharp criticisms.
And we mustn’t succumb to their old fashioned ideas
The ones covered in the desert dust of numerous past generations.

Untitled

2007-06-26T17:51:00.000+03:00

There, the constant feeling she was overcome with,
Was burning cold emptiness
As she was tortured in the ice black fire
That ignites only in the perfect hell
Fate had created for her

And there, she stayed, imprisoned for eternity,
Flames of uncertainty and doubt,
Created by her flaw; and lack of faith;
And desire to learn the complete truth
Ate away slowly at her mind,
The mind that once searched for the light
The mind that now only screams for mercy

And there,
The fingers that once tried to reach out
And grasp the answers to the relentless questions,
Turned black and fell off one by one

And there, her eyes, the eyes that once were wide open
Have been frozen shut
And the truth that was once in focus is now blurred
And there, her eyes froze over so that
The tears of frustration
Built up in her could not be released

And there, in the distance
The insane laughter
Could be heard
Laughing in her voice
The voice of someone
Who has accepted and
Has drank the illusion
And tasted the decaying
Maggot infested lies

And there, she stayed…
Because once she wouldn’t settle
For the imperfect and incomplete
She slowly goes insane

The Face

2007-06-26T17:45:00.000+03:00

I was born in a prison cell
And I've been there all my life
I'm alone except for my shadow
That mocks me in the candlelight

There's a window in this prison cell
Made from translucent glass
I watch from my window
I watch dark figures pass

There's a face in my window
But I could never tell
Whether it was my hero
Or if it's the keeper of this cell

Today I realized
I saw through its disguise
That the face was actually both
I saw it in its cold distant eyes

The face is the one who keeps me captive
And the hero who saved me
It kept me safe from the evils of life
Now I finally see

The face is the truth
And also the lie
The face is me, my reflection
And this cell is where I'll die

Obscure Love

2007-06-26T17:41:00.000+03:00

Should I create a monument of love and dedicate it to you?
Should this shrine be large and loud, viewed and heard by all?
Should it be obvious, predictable, and proud?

Should I write a tome about the feelings born inside of me every time I see you smile?
Should this work then be published and sold?
Should it leave me naked and exposed to the world?

Should I write your name across the sky?
Should I worship the ground you walk on?
Should I surrender my life and devote it completely to loving you?

Should my endless love for you be announced and arrogant?
Or can I keep it a secret buried deep inside the simple words of this poem?

Lust

2007-06-26T17:38:00.000+03:00

One look into its eyes
And she was trapped
As it wrapped itself around her legs
She had become its willing prisoner

It took its first bite
The seed of corruption planted
Growing into a weed
Breaking into her
Penetrating her innocence

A destructive dance
A sadistic ritual
In and out
Over and over
Deeper with every thrust
The trance gaining strength

With each entry
The petals of virtue withered
Died and fell off
One by one

Inevitably Nothing

2007-06-26T17:35:00.000+03:00

I've been standing here
Holding the door open
For someone
Who will never come

Staring at the phone
For hours
Waiting for the call
That will never come

Watching this
Empty Street
Watching for the ride
It will never come

Aching for pleasure
Frustrated
Dissatisfied
I will never come

Laying in this bed
Begging for
Craving Sleep
Will it never come?

Sitting here thinking
An eternal war
In my mind
Peace will never come

Hurt Brother

2007-06-26T17:28:00.000+03:00

Tears have fallen that aren't mine
That sad voice is not one of my possessions
I hear sharp yells, directed not at me
And that sobbing comes from someone else

I see hurt in the similar brown eyes
My smile is missing from his face
Why does it bother me to see,
Someone who isn’t me, cry?

His exact pain I cannot feel
But I can feel another
For it's our blood that has been spilled
And so I fight for that familiar face

Her Reason

2007-06-26T17:22:00.000+03:00

I knew the person who used to live here
I knew her very well
She sang songs to keep her from going mad
She wrote them down to keep her from getting sad

I knew the reason why she had no friends
I knew it very well
They all should've known
That she liked to be alone

I knew the reason why she was silent
I knew it very well
She would barely ever talk
She would look down at her feet while she walked

I knew the reason she watched the clouds
I knew it very well
She would like it when it would rain
It made her forget most of her pain

I knew the reason she went outdoors
I knew it very well
She liked the wind in her hair
It made her feel like someone cared

I knew the reason she liked the dark
I knew it very well
She would sit under the stars and moon
She knew she would join them very soon

I knew the reason she cried at night
I knew it very well
She fell in love with the wrong person
He locked his heart and wouldn’t let her in

I know the reason she took her life
The same reason she stole that knife
The reason she locked that door
The reason she won't cry anymore
The reason for her last tear
The reason she doesn’t live here
I know it very well

I'm the reason why she's gone
I broke her heart and just moved on
I knew the person who used to live here
I knew her very well

Cherished Void

2007-06-26T17:18:00.000+03:00

The memories of you
Remove them from my mind

The time, wasted with you
Replace it with emptiness

The tears, worthless and hollow
Wipe them away

The scars, consequences
Let them fade

The feelings, they made me blind
Trade them for indifference

My heart, the space that contained you
Leave it vacant

My skin, forever longing for your touch
Make it numb

My love, pointless
Let it die

And let me be forever lost in an unchanging abyss
Free from this burden of pain and regret